Short smart and funny tweets.... Get them on Facebook
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Do you see that little [X] at the top right hand corner of the box? Save me a lot of time and click it.
if you lost your blanket, ill be happy to go on top of you, and keep you warm.
I am up, what more do you want?
Why be difficult... when you can be impossible??!!
Sorry cant be here right now my girlfriend is out with another guy and i have to go beat the shit out of him. leave a message
Top Rated Tweets
If one sychronized swimmer drowns do the rest all have to drown too?
If they say TVs so bad for you then why do they have one in every hospital room?
Im spending some quality time with my pilow... and doing my spelling too (zzzzzzz):-D
Studying. Notice how they conviently put "DYING" at the end of this word?
im so cool i make the ice cubes shiver!
Newly Added Tweets
# The first thing I always do when a cop pulls me over is remind him he can't arrest me without a warrant so he knows he's dealing with a pro
NEXT!!! Can I help you? Nah. I just stood in line to say hi.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
you tweet me, i tweet back, you don't reply. what's all that about? if you don't want to talk to me, don't tweet me in the first place.
i hope dis is just a nightmare. im gonna wake up & open my eyes..... 1, 2, 3.... it's not a dream. it's not a nightmare. it is HELL.....
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