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"The church is close, but the road is icy. The pub is far, but I will walk carefully" - Russian Proverb @ the pub -P
Hi im in the shower right now w/ hot soapy water running down my naked wet body, please dont get too aroused, be back in a few
i GoT A boNE To pIck wiT u bUt As lOng As u pIcK My WeDgIe So Be bAck In 5, peace!
Im out looking for Mr. Right right now, cuz all Ive found is Mr. Rude, Mr. He-Thinks-He-Looks-Better-Than-Me, and Mr. Gives-A-New-Meaning-To-PIG!
smiling is the second good thing i can do with my lips....whats the first? :)
Top Rated Tweets
If one sychronized swimmer drowns do the rest all have to drown too?
If they say TVs so bad for you then why do they have one in every hospital room?
Im spending some quality time with my pilow... and doing my spelling too (zzzzzzz):-D
Studying. Notice how they conviently put "DYING" at the end of this word?
im so cool i make the ice cubes shiver!
Newly Added Tweets
# The first thing I always do when a cop pulls me over is remind him he can't arrest me without a warrant so he knows he's dealing with a pro
NEXT!!! Can I help you? Nah. I just stood in line to say hi.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
you tweet me, i tweet back, you don't reply. what's all that about? if you don't want to talk to me, don't tweet me in the first place.
i hope dis is just a nightmare. im gonna wake up & open my eyes..... 1, 2, 3.... it's not a dream. it's not a nightmare. it is HELL.....
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