Short smart and funny tweets.... Get them on Facebook
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The perfect man is like a dog. You can train him, pet him, and hell be your best friend. He also bited real hard and likes to hump!!!
Its raining! Its pouring! You are really boring! So I am gone, but not for long! Dont have a fit! Ill be back in a bit!
Sorry %n, Im working right now... but next time I decide to procrastinate, Ill get back to you.
love is painful.... busy dreaming about that guy that made a mistake... :(
That boy filp flops more than a catfish in a moon bouncer!
Top Rated Tweets
If one sychronized swimmer drowns do the rest all have to drown too?
If they say TVs so bad for you then why do they have one in every hospital room?
Im spending some quality time with my pilow... and doing my spelling too (zzzzzzz):-D
Studying. Notice how they conviently put "DYING" at the end of this word?
im so cool i make the ice cubes shiver!
Newly Added Tweets
# The first thing I always do when a cop pulls me over is remind him he can't arrest me without a warrant so he knows he's dealing with a pro
NEXT!!! Can I help you? Nah. I just stood in line to say hi.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
you tweet me, i tweet back, you don't reply. what's all that about? if you don't want to talk to me, don't tweet me in the first place.
i hope dis is just a nightmare. im gonna wake up & open my eyes..... 1, 2, 3.... it's not a dream. it's not a nightmare. it is HELL.....
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