Short smart and funny tweets.... Get them on Facebook
Total Records: 3960
I just ate so many pistachios that the squirrels at my window started clapping.
ask ur man how i taste
I dont like you.
i wish i waz barbie she haz everythin*!!!
Can I have a picture of u so I can show santa what I want 4 christmas ;)
Top Rated Tweets
If one sychronized swimmer drowns do the rest all have to drown too?
If they say TVs so bad for you then why do they have one in every hospital room?
Im spending some quality time with my pilow... and doing my spelling too (zzzzzzz):-D
Studying. Notice how they conviently put "DYING" at the end of this word?
im so cool i make the ice cubes shiver!
Newly Added Tweets
# The first thing I always do when a cop pulls me over is remind him he can't arrest me without a warrant so he knows he's dealing with a pro
NEXT!!! Can I help you? Nah. I just stood in line to say hi.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
you tweet me, i tweet back, you don't reply. what's all that about? if you don't want to talk to me, don't tweet me in the first place.
i hope dis is just a nightmare. im gonna wake up & open my eyes..... 1, 2, 3.... it's not a dream. it's not a nightmare. it is HELL.....
Submit Your Tweet
© 1999-2010 Leeway Infotech Pvt Ltd